Think Twice
by killtheposeurs
Summary: The strangest story I've ever co-written with someone. Well, the first. Red Tulle, Gay!Sevvie-kins, Confused!Hermione, and, my favorite, Stupid!Harry. Good gracious! R&R!
1. Pretty in Pink

A/N: Alright, Mors and I are writing a challenge story. This is it. The challenge: Between 500-2000 words per chapter, using dialogue from all characters in every chapter. At least one flashback per chapter, using whatever writing style you want. No including the author in your story, no shameless parodies, and definitely NO Mary Sues (that live). You can edit the other person's characters, etc, but no major plot twists without consulting the other person. And, yes, I trust Mors enough to leave my story in her hands.

So, without further ado, Think Twice.

Rating: Why the R rating, you ask? Well Mors's sections tend to be rather morbid, and all of my stories are R, anyway. Makes me feel better. Rated R for: some pretty risky language and references, but it's not graphic. It's the kind of R that everyone reads, regardless of the rating. It'll pass over your head if you're not old enough. I personally recommend 13+ for this one, since I'm 13 myself and writing this. And, yet, it's still rated R. Hmm… 

-Disclaimer- We own nothing. Nothing at all. Except for our own inventions, such as the "infamous Paris fall show of '87." Don't ask. There was a fall show in '87, but it couldn't have been that bad. Versace and Chanel are their own trademarked companies, etc. etc. If you can catch some of the more… hm… "recent" references, I'll give you a cookie!

Think Twice

Chapter 1

-Pretty in Pink-

"Now STU-dents, number forty se-VAN, is Bo-RON."

Hermione slumped in the potions room, head in hands, as she tried to cope with the harsh reality. Hogwarts had gone to hell. It was heading in the wrong direction at an extremely fast rate. They were learning about the Table of the Elements in 6th year Potions class!

The board of trustees had disbanded, leaving the school penniless and destitute, and the classes were slowly slumping in reputation. Filch now taught Defense Against the Dark Arts, leaving the students totally unprepared. Almost all of the pureblooded families had taken their children out of the school, seeing as one of the most important classes at Hogwarts was taught by a squib.

  
And so, Hogwarts had to resort to Muggle teachers. It was also widely known that Dumbledore spent even more time in his office than usual, having nervous breakdowns and muttering about lemon drops. 

Hermione took a moment to survey the room over the horrid southern accent of Mrs. Wolf. 

Ronald Weasley (former love interest) was playing air guitar in the corner, bobbing his head up and down to the periodic syllables. Seamus Finnegan was drawing four leaf clovers all over his books, claiming to her earlier that he needed all the help he could get. Parvati and Padma Patil were gossiping about the latest issue of Witch Weekly, which featured the new cover boy, Draco Malfoy. The discussion of his "angelic looks" and "god-like posture" was driving Hermione insane, explaining why she spent all of her free time around books. Draco Malfoy was off on another modeling job, yet no one in the class seemed to notice. And the famous Harry Potter was writing another sonnet to Cho Chang, with his famously horrific writing style. 

"Oh, your lovely quidditch skills are… pretty… colors…" he muttered under his breath. Hermione sighed in frustration. Even though they were crappy sonnets, they were still sonnets. No one she knew would write them to her.

Her one former suitor, Ron Weasley, spent most of his time in his new "Muggle Rock Band" called "Lime Jello Invasion." He and Harry were the only members, and spent most of their practices singing tone-deaf and just playing Wizard Chess. Ron had come up with the idea, thinking that it would make him more popular. It didn't. Especially since he couldn't play an instrument even if he tried.

Yes, Hermione thought, he was rather dull. There wasn't a large majority of available guys anymore, and even before the school started to decline, there still weren't that many. The only person whom she was remotely attracted to was Draco Malfoy, and every bloody girl in the school was attracted to him.

"Now, stu-DENTS, I'll be le-AVING on a tr-IP back to am-ERICA. Your new substitute tea-CHER is arri-VING to-MORROW after-NOON and will teach for 6 MON-ths."

Several people in the classroom cheered, including Ron, as Mrs. Wolf was rather tedious and old and overweight.

Hermione grinned and brought her face up.

She needed a challenge.

And, oh, would she get a challenge.

---

"Chrissy, I told you, no sequins on the hem! We're going for Elton John meets Marilyn Manson, not Perry Komo meets Burt Bacharach!"

"Oh, but Sevvie, it fits perfectly with the general mood of the outfit! It won't go properly with the sparkles above the hem, otherwise!" Chrissy frowned and sighed. Silly man didn't know what was good for him.

Severus Snape rolled his eyes, "Suuuuuuuuure, okay. We can just go for the Paris fall show of '87!" She gasped at the infamous mention of the Paris fall show of '87. Versace had prepared a café colored tea-length delectable dress, which in the final run-through on stage, turned out to be horrible looking on the model herself. Not to mention the ugly-as-hell silk blend wrap with the pink tulle Chanel dress…

"I'm not going for Taboo-phase Boy George, you know. These students will be scared out of their English minds," She commented softly as she pinned the hem up on the robes again.

"Oww, you poked me darling," Severus winced and rubbed his right leg with a sense of grace that would make any teenage girl sigh with adoration.

"Sorry, Sevvie-kins," She commented, sucking her thumb for a second and then went back to pinning, "Why are you so sure you want to go back to this school, anyway? You've got a wonderful life here. There's Kevin…"

Severus lightly blushed and pursed his lips, "I don't adore Kevin. Besides, he's got Erik, that Swedish guy."

"Yeah, but come on! Every man and woman in New York wants you! Even myself, thank you VERY much…" Chrissy rolled her eyes, and Sevvie placed his right pointer and middle finger under her chin and tilted it upwards.

"Sorry, darling, but I have to. These kids need me. I've been away for a year, and I've got to come back," He rolled his eyes and sat down in the plush pink chair, "Besides, I want to make a splash!" His eyes lit up, "Last time I was there, I was just a smug sardonic bastard."

"Newsflash, Sevvie-kins, you're still one," She wrung her hands and finished the final stitch, "There we go. I even took the red tulle off."

Severus admired himself in the mirror, then commented:

  
"Yes, but now I'm a smug sardonic bastard wearing pink."

---

"Hermione, why won't you do our homework for us anymore?" Harry frowned and went back to his next sonnet for Cho.

"Because the homework's bloody easy! Ever since Professor Snape left…" She sighed and looked up, rolling her eyes. There had been a huge falling out between Snape and the Board of Trustees, and he had left for America. He wasn't ever slated to be coming back, and she really did miss his classes.

"What rhymes with banana?" Harry interrupted her train of thought, chewing on the end of his quill plaintively.

"Harry, don't include fucking bananas in your sonnet. They imply something."

"But I like bananas! I'm not fucking them, after all. I'm still a virgin, you know." (A/N: HAD TO INCLUDE THAT!) Harry grinned and looked up. "Will you tousle my hair, again?"

"Harry- I will not tousle your frigging hair. Get the fuck away from me."

"But the common room belongs to everyone! All colours of the world!" He tried to strike a valiant pose and failed miserably.

"It doesn't if you're a bloody imbecile!!" Hermione stomped out of the common room, heading out of the castle. Soon, she began to run as fast as she could, and burst out the doors as she arrived at the lake entrance of the school.

She scowled and looked up on the cold, November morning: "IS EVERYONE HERE JUST… QUEER OR SOMETHING?!?!?!?" 

Then- she heard a loud "Pop!" and saw a stunningly attractive man appear out of nowhere. Aside from the fact that he was wearing pink trimmed robes. "I'm sorry, did I hear queer?"

Hermione stood in stunned silence.

"Well, don't we just look like a fish!"

She was still just standing and staring.

"I hope I won't receive such a chilly welcome back reception from everyone here. Mind showing me to Bumblewhore's office, again? I'm afraid I've forgotten the way."

"Uhm… uhm…" 

"Well, you're rather lovely, aren't you?" Snape grinned and pushed a tendril of silky hair out of his face. Hermione turned quite red and resembled a ripe turnip (A/N: *snicker* Apologies for the WIRED reference).

"P-p-p-professor snape?" She stuttered, astonished beyond belief. "What the hell have you done to yourself?"

Sevvie looked offended, "Oh dear. This is a chilly reception from a Miss Hermione Granger. Tsk tsk tsk."

Hermione just found this too unbelievable to cope with. She stood. And she laughed.

And he laughed, too.

---

Alright, it's Margaret's turn! She's gonna do the creepy serious flashback stuff and el mondo boredom chapters. That'll explain if the story sounds a tad different from chapter to chapter. Love y'all!

-Ming a.k.a. Killtheposeurs-


	2. Forgotten

A/N: Yes, Ming and I are doing this fanfic. My first time for Harry Potter, but I have an expert to help. Yes, my job is to do the angst sections of this fic, and at times I can go over my head and be too morbid and angsty for my own good. But we'll see how this turns out. 

Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter, so fuck off and let me write.

Note from Ming: Uhh… okay, sure. Mors Laminil now owns Harry Potter. I never would have guessed. She bought it from JKR at an auction… all rights reserved…

Think Twice

Chapter 2

-Forgotten-

Severus Snape was welcomed into Hogwarts without a moment's hesitation. Although Dumbledore was somewhat disturbed of the former death-eater's choice of attire… it was not like the Severus he once knew.

Nevertheless, Hogwarts was going downhill, and he might be one step in the right direction, seeing as it was his leave that caused some disruption in the school's board of trustees and result of the school's current state.

After the paperwork was confirmed, Snape was introduced into his familiar office, slightly disarranged from previous teacher. He only smiled cheerfully and said, "Well this needs some work, but I'm sure it'll look just like old times with a few touches here and there."

He immediately set to work, reorganizing the desks to his liking and setting the many bottles and vials, filled with potions of all sorts, to the appropriate position.

But the room was not the same as before. Added trinkets and unexpected items of emotion littered his room, and on his desk five ink bottles were lined up in a row, each containing a different color. No, the room was not the same and neither was Severus.

There was a note from Mrs. Wolf on the desk, explaining what the class had been through and what they had learned. He merrily read it over and then tossed it in the waste bin with shallow giggle.

Snape was back, but what had become of Snape?

---

That night, when all had been prepared for tomorrow's day of Potions, Snape retired to his room. He began to unpack, moving the numerous bright colored robes into his wardrobe and positioning his possessions.

When he was done, he stood back and admired the room. Smiling, he checked his bag if there was anything he had missed. His hand reached into the bad and encountered something hard, like metal.

Grasping the item, he pulled it into view. It was a picture in a golden picture frame. His joyful expression melted from his face, growing darker.

_Remember? …_

The whisper sounded in his ears. He twirled around and stared at nothing, his eyes quivering in fear. Then a look of recognition crossed his face, but fear again replaced it. 

"No," he said softly, though he felt like screaming. "No, I don't remember."

_Forgotten? …_

"Yes," he whispered in fear. "Yes, I have forgotten."

_Torture … Burning … Hanging … Which death? …_

His brow furrowed as he knelt on the ground, holding his head on his hands. His voice was quiet, as if peace was the only way to solve the questions. "I don't know."

_Remember!_

The command roared in his ears, and he screamed in pain, clutching his ears.

But he couldn't remember what happened next. His mind was suddenly wrenched from his body as he found himself wandering in another place, another time… 

There stood a woman clad in tight black leather pants and a black sleeveless shirt, fitting to her figure. Her arms were bare, and a tattoo was clearly visible on her tan skin. She was a death-eater.

Her short black hair moved slightly as she turned to face him, her bright blue eyes piercing and clear.

"You okay, Snape?" she said playfully, waving a hand in front of his face.

He looked around. They were in something that resembled a lab with vials of potions everywhere. 

Where am I, he thought.

"Snape?" she said again, snapping her fingers. 

"Yes?" he said, moving his mouth without command.

"You were dozing off there," she said with a happy voice. "Come on, we have work to do."

He nodded and looked down to what he was working on. On the table was a long parchment of intricate designs and mixtures.

Looking at the working lady, he had every desire to ask her what the hell he was doing her, but for some strange reason his mouth wouldn't open.

He would have started to ask her through actions instead of words, when there was a knock. Looking around, Snape located the door to his left. It opened, and in walked a tall man in black robes.

"Come," said the man with a superior air.

The girl looked up and said, "For whom does he call?"

"You, woman, you will come." 

A drained look of fear entered her eyes, and setting down her work, she walked away. But before the door closed, she looked back at Snape and smiled.

Hope shined fiercely in her eyes, and he smiled back.

Slowly the picture faded, and Snape opened his eyes to a small group of unfamiliar faces looking at him. The only one recognizable was Dumbledore's who now asked him what was wrong.

Snape only sat there in silence, reviewing what had happened. Then one word entered his mind. 

And though he meant to say much more in reply to the old man's question, he could only say that word.

"Elizabeth."

---

*sighs* I'm afraid that's not the best I've written, but it'll get better over time. It takes a while for the plot to setup and make an introduction. Hopefully, Ming can make something out of this. Until then,

~Mors Laminil


End file.
